Disclaimer: The following is an email I sent to friends and family in November 2013, preserved here for posterity.

Subj: Long-awaited update for Borneo and Thailand [Part 1: Malysia]

After I came down with TMWS (too much weeding syndrome) in Nepal I decided to make the foray into Help Exchange (HelpX) which is the same deal (work for room and board) but it doesn't have to be an organic farm. So this time I was helping Jungle Jack start a bed and breakfast at the base of mount Kinabalu (which the Malaysians are quick to tell you is the tallest mountain in Southeast Asia). So last month's work consisted of painting, some minor construction and a surprising amount of electrical wiring. 

When I arrived, the way to turn off the light in the bathroom was to unscrew the bulb just enough to lose contact, but not so much that it falls to smash on the concrete floor. I installed a switch. 

But let me back up. 

On the car ride up the mountain I found out that he was a good chef, had internet, a sit down (not squat) toilet, and hot showers. A veritable paradise after Nepal!

Well, he stretched the truth a little. 

He only cooked a few times and half of those were ramen noodles plus an egg. He "prefers cooking for more people." Usually we went to a restaurant a couple minutes down the road that his friend owns. It was nice to have so many different dishes, but it was restaurant quality. Not like the farm grown pumpkin, turmeric, and chillies of Nepal. 

The B&B consisted of 7 storage containers converted into sleeping quarters and bathrooms. The internet router was in his container, and my computer was in mine, and the signal didn't really make it out of one metal box and into the window of another very well. Also, half the time he was pirating movies so that didn't help (he's addicted to movies).

The toilet was sit down, but not separated from the shower, so it was always soaking wet. That wasn't so bad though because usually everything was wet. It sounds so romantic to be in the clouds, but it's not. It takes days to dry clothes, your towel is always damp, and you can't even see anything. Early in the morning we had a beautiful view of Mt Kinabalu, but then the mist descended and it usually rained around 2. 

The hot showers really were nice though. After experiencing the solar water "heater" in Nepal that changed the temperature from freezing to frigid, I was willing to accept the less eco-friendly natural gas version. 

I almost regret staying so long at that one location. Not because of wet toilets or bad internet, but just because it was so boring. Most of the time it was just me and Jungle Jack, and he would often declare breaks so he could watch part of a movie (after lunch for an hour or something). I do feel like I made a big difference in the place though. Besides that one switch for the bathroom, I also added 4 outlets and 6 more switch plates for 14 more lights. I didn't electrocute myself and everything worked when I left, so I guess I did something right. When in doubt, more electrical tape. I also painted one of the containers and learned how to stick weld in order to build a dog house for a beautiful boxer and 4 puppies we adopted while I was there. The before and after pictures would be great if I had possessed the foresight to take before pictures. 

The day before he took me down to the airport, we went to the closest big city, Ranau, for some drinks with his friend. We hopped bars for a while and somehow ended up pretty far outside of the town, heading to this tiny, surprisingly crowded shop that his friend drank at once. We bought a few cans and asked this lady why she's dressed so nicely.  Moments later the infamous wedding gong pickup comes down the road and parks next to us. This is a big tradition in Malaysia that I had seen a few times. A Hilux pickup (It's always a Hilux) full of people banging obnoxious gongs in a "DA-donk-donk-DA-donk-donk-DA-donk" pattern leads the caravan of guests who all have ribbons in their door handles and hazard lights on. Well, they just arrived to pick up the groom who has been waiting in his house right next to this tiny shop. 

Ten minutes later we're on the road with ribbons all over the car because these complete strangers think it would be cool if an "orang puteh" showed up ("white man." Fun fact: "orang utan" means "jungle man" and it's supposed to be 2 words). Forty five minutes of driving 100 km into the middle of the jungle, then another 20 minutes driving the 6 km down their crazy dirt road. Needless to say, the little naked children running around were shameless in screaming about the "orang puteh," the first in a while apparently. We made fast friends at the ceremony and I got an eager translator who let me know what was happening. One of the kids intercepted me when it was time to eat so he could practice his English while we dined. We payed our respects to the beautiful 25 year old bride and gave a small gift to the 45 year old teacher-turned-husband. Another guy, more my age, taught me how to drink the home made rice wine out of the 30 different clay pots along the wall using a bamboo straw. I quickly made a fool of myself dancing, then, alas, it was time to leave early so I could get some sleep before my flight, and we could feed the dogs. 

Good things come to those who wait. 

In the end I don't regret it. It was nice to mix things up and have some time to myself. I read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," "Vagabonding" by Rolf Potts, some Walt Whitman stuff, and made a big dent in "Walden." 

Highlights:  being bitten by a leech, driving on the other side of the road on a scooter, having to walk said scooter up hills that were too steep, seeing a Rafflesia flower, hitting 200 golf balls for $8, singing karaoke songs that were way too high for me, seeing lots of crazy bugs, and of course crashing a wedding. 

On December 20th I left for The Land of Smiles.